In Dave's Words

A few months ago, it occurred to me that the reason I wish that people would change has much more to do with my benefit than their’s. When I really stop to evaluate my heart and when I stop and listen to people complain about other people, the reason we wish people would change is because it would somehow make my life easier or more…comfortable.

Oh…sure we talk about the need for people to become more like Jesus…and I don’t doubt that we mean it. But humanly speaking, I am usually ticked off that people aren’t “normal”…like me more than I am that they’re not like Jesus. If people would see things my way…act like I would…do what I want, the way I want it done…then I would be happier and my life would be easier. The more people don’t see things my way…don’t act like I would…or don’t do what i would do, the way I would do it…the more frustrated I get. My reason for wanting people around me to change is self-centered.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself about how much your self plays into people needing to change:

• Is your emotional well being tied to people agreeing with you? Do you get defensive when people don’t see things your way?
• Do you feel the overwhelming urge to control the way people do things because of your need for things turn out your way?…which is obviously the best way
• Why do you get so frustrated by how people around you act?
• Do people joke about you having a controlling or obsessive nature?
• How much emotional energy do you spend on situations where people don’t agree with you or where people don’t appreciate your way of doing things?
• Is your sense of “ok-ness” dependant on being stroked by those you lead or lead with?

Those with the gift of being able to influence others need to constantly take stock of our motivations. There is a fine line between manipulation and good leadership. For the sake of this argument, I view manipulation as trying to change people around me for my benefit or to make them like me. Good leadership, on the other hand, influences people toward becoming more like Christ.

The most spontaneous actions and reactions of people provide the clearest traces of their talents and strengths. If you want to get an immediate appreciation and understanding of people’s strengths look at what they yearn for (what they are most passionate about or interested in), what they learn most rapidly, and what satisfies them the most when they are engaged in it. As leaders, it is our responsibly to identify these in the people we lead and foster their specific involvement in those areas.

However, why is it that people’s most spontaneous actions and reactions are so quickly negatively judged? For example:

People who are brilliant at imposing order and structure? Anal.

People who claim excellence? Egotists.

People who anticipate and are always asking “What if?” Worriers.

People who are outgoing and social? Looking for attention.

People who are introspective? Arrogant loner.

People who are passionate about the future? Unrealistic.

People who can’t wait to act? Impatient.  

People who are great managers? Bureaucratic.

People who initiate? Reckless.  

People who seek the opinions of others? Indecisive.

We evaluate other people’s strengths against the filter of how they make us feel about ourselves and against our own strengths and weaknesses. The very qualities or actions in people we tend to so quickly criticize are the very best things about them and their most valuable contribution to the team.

Looking for leadership? Look in the mirror.

A leader is a dealer in hope.

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Study the past, live the moment, plan the future.

Leadership is action, not position.

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to meet it.

Most things are difficult before they are easy.

Act like you are invisible, know that you are not.

Fail to honor people and they will fail to honor you.

Blame softly, praise loudly.

The more you say, the less they remember.

Be grateful for luck, but don’t count on it.

It’s not what happens when you’re there, it’s what happens when you’re not.

Think with your heart.

Authority is a poor substitute for leadership.

Hold everyone to a high standard.

Hold yourself to a high standard.

Listen and lead.

Remember, there’s always room at the top, but even more room at the bottom.

So, seek out people better than you, seek out people who are different than you, seek out

people who are braver than you.

The time is always right to do what’s right.

Keep your promises, keep your confidences, keep your temper.

Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?

Be out and about.

Enjoy the process, but crave the goal.

We will either find a way or make one.

Be not afraid of greatness.

Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.

I’ve just finished reading the Bob Pierce biography. What a gift to the leadership world. His daughter’s honoring yet honest telling of the Pierce family story is shared with rare transparency.

I’m wrestling through the questions of how someone so obviously used of God could so obviously miss the boat on such a significant aspect of his life? How could God speak to Pierce about where to go…where to preach…what significant kingdom risks to take…what ministries to begin…yet not speak with the same clarity about how to manage the affairs of his own household. Reading 1 Tim 3 this morning, spiritual leadership credibility is solidly connected to how a man manages/serves his household. And while there is always another side to a story…the fact is…Bob Pierce couldn’t or didn’t serve his family the same way he served the world.

Call it spiritual attack…mismanaged priorities…blind narcissistic leadership…I simply don’t understand why God didn’t bring it up with him. Why didn’t God change Pierce in the same way He was using Pierce to change the world?

Probably I won’t get those questions answered to any satisfactory degree. Yet what I do know is that Bob Pierce’s story was placed on my path by God (through a friend) at a very important time in my life.  I am so thankful that God perfectly uses imperfect people, but also so very aware that God cares just as much about the three people asleep upstairs right now as he does for half of the world’s population who suffers in needless poverty.

Here is a link to get the book:

http://www.blessings.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=man+of+vision&x=0&y=0

A friend of mine reciently gave me a copy of “Man of Vision” by Marilee Pierce Dunker. It is the story of the life and ministry of Bob and Lorraine Pierce, founders of World Vision and Samaritan’s Purse. I can’t read more than a couple of chapters before I need to put it down and think…and think.

I had anticipated this to be a biography of a spiritual giant, pioneer, leader, man of God, and a book that talked about the needs of the worlds poor…and it is all of that. But I have only read the first 4 chapters and I am convinced that Bob Pierce wouldn’t get hired for leadership in any ministry or church today. I have been more encouraged and overwhelmed by Pierces “failings” than anything that could be said about his successes. His life is remarkably like many of biblical heroes who failed in ways that would disqualify them for positions of leadership today. Already in the first four chapters Pierce has walked away from God and his family twice (while actively preaching and pastoring), couldn’t hold down a job,  grossly insubordinate, financial irresponsible,  depressed, unreliable and seemingly arrogant.

Without needing to read the rest of the book, I know that God used Bob Pierce in a historical fashion to demonstrate and communicate the love of Jesus Christ to millions of people for decades. Few people have impacted the world as he has…yet he likely wouldn’t make the short list of most faith-based organizations or churches today. Most today would write him off in a way that says, ” because you are imperfect and broken, you can’t possibly be of any use to God or represent this organization.” I am so comforted by the fact that God uses the most unlikely and unqualified so that its never difficult to confuse who is responsible for the results.

I am also discoraged by the reality that leaders are constantly under the weight of completely unreasonable expectations of performance and perfection. For years I have heard people critique and judge leaders (or people) from the sidelines, pontificating about all that Pastor So-and-So (or their Supervisor) isn’t doing right. “They spend to much time with their family…or they don’t spend enough time with their family”, “He isn’t working hard enough…or they are working too hard and don’t share the load”, “He preaches too long…or he doesn’t preach enough of the bible”, “She isn’t nice enough to the volunteers…or she’s showing favorites and spends to much time out for coffee”…and it goes on and on. 

Its amazing how many people seem to know the “truth” so convincingly or who act so qualified on so many issues.

While I’m sure that Bob Pierces failures were painful for those he failed…he is another wonderful example that God loves to show up in the most unexpected. King David…Saul…Moses…would all have been fired by their churches and removed from “ministry”…and for that matter, probably so would have Jesus. However…as a imperfect person who feels the presure to be perfect…I’m filled with joy and peace knowing that I am great company along with those who know how gracious and forgiving God is.